We all have our ideas on dating, the dos and don’ts to ensure a successful connection. At timesm it may feel overwhelming. Now add children to the mix. As a single parent how do you balance dating, forming a relationship, while protecting yourself and your children?
Keep three ideas in mind: Common Sense, Temperance and Communication.
Attraction is potent. With a flash, it will blind and disrupt your good judgment. For instance, your online conversations with Ms. Gorgeous are tipping over to the point of excitement, fun, and curiosity. You want to meet this woman. She is free this weekend, but you have your sons. Next weekend, you are free, but her kids are with her. No problem you say, you will ensure that you have a babysitter. Date day arrives; the kids are bouncing off the walls and for the first time in what feels like forever you have the wild feeling in your stomach. And then it happens, the sitter cancels. It’s too late to try and find someone else to watch the boys. So what do you do?
A) Bring the boys to the coffee house on your date. The more the merrier, they say.
B) Cancel the date
C) Communicate and amend
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While you may veer towards b, and please stay away from A, it is C that is your best bet. Ms. G is a parent. And parents know that life will change in a second. You need to talk to her. If she is as enchanting as your initial perceptions have lead you to believe, she will work with you. Perhaps you meet the following day. Or better yet, meet during your lunch break a day during the week. A first date needs to be about the two of you. And it is because you love your kids that they need to be kept out of this situation for the time being.
We all know that kids are sponges, eager to copy your behaviours, actions, and temperaments. Making the huge decision to introduce them to the person you are seeing can have a positive and sometimes a negative affect on them. Kids are not pawns. They will not make you appear charming if you are really not. Kids have the unique ability to bring out your purest self, and sometimes it’s not pretty. Take it slow with getting to know the real Ms. G. As your walls come down, you both realize that you are truly into each other. Open communication from the start is paramount. Intimacy, sex and attraction, coupled with common sense and communication make for fantastic bedfellows.
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Before you know it your conversations shift from one day I may introduce my sons, to I would like you to meet my sons. Do not take this moment lightly. Whether your kids are young or in their teens do not assume that they will not become attached to this special person in your life. It is your duty to protect them. For the first meeting make it short. Take the pressure off yourself and the kids. The kids can sense your happiness, and all they want is to be a part of it.