• Nationwide
  • Toronto
  • Vancouver
  • Calgary
  • Montreal
  • Los Angeles
  • Chicago
  • NYC
Eligible Magazine
  • Dating
    • Editor’s Dating Notes
    • Better Dating Ideas
    • “The Bachelor” Advice
    • Guy Talk
    • Girl Talk
  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Events
  • Fashion
    • Men’s Style
    • Women’s Style
  • Lifestyle
    • Gossip
    • Wine & Dine
    • Luxurious Living
    • Entertainment
    • Destinations
  • Wellness
    • Men’s Fitness
    • Women’s Fitness
    • Get Inspired
    • Doctor’s Orders
    • A Better YOU
    • Beauty
  • Bachelor & Bachelorette
  • Cities
    • Nationwide
    • Toronto
    • Vancouver
    • Calgary
    • Montreal
    • Los Angeles
    • Chicago
    • NYC
Dealing With Divorce 0

What Can A Good Parenting Plan Do For You?

By Carolyn Chambers · On April 30, 2014

Picture it: It is 3:30 PM on a Friday before a holiday weekend. A panicked client calls me to tell me that their ex-spouse is going to pick up the children from school and intends to keep them Friday and Saturday even though your client had plans with the children on Friday and Saturday. You know that your client has had a Parenting Plan in place for three years now, and that it was drawn up between the parents when they had freshly separated but were “amicable” and still trying to work out their new family arrangement. Unfortunately, now there is tension between the parents, which is why this person is your client now – to renegotiate the terms of the Parenting Plan. You pull the file to take a look at the old (and currently still in place) Parenting Plan to see whose weekend it is with the children. Oh. Well, Mr. Client, you have a blanket statement here that says that you and your ex-spouse will share all holidays with the children equally. That’s quite unclear, isn’t it?

A Parenting Plan is a parent’s agreement and guide to, among other things, decision-making for the children and splitting their time with the children. A detailed Parenting Plan should eliminate potential conflicts between parents and allow them to focus on maintaining a reasonably amicable relationship with one another. This is also good for your children to see their parents working well together and they will have the stability and certainty in knowing when they will see their parents, which holidays will be spent with which parent, who will take them to their extracurricular activities, etc.

The Parenting Plan can be as detailed or as general as you like. However, if you are my client, I’ll be advising you to make your Parenting Plan as detailed as possible. Unfortunately, the scenario above, and so many other confusing situations, occurs far too often when the Parenting Plan is unclear.

These are only some of the problems that I regularly see in poorly drafted or considered Parenting Plans:

  • An unspecific holiday and long weekend schedule – Often, I see Parenting Plans that fail to consider certain long weekends, PA/PD days or major holidays, or holiday schedules that are prepared so that it appears that one parent just happens to have the children on a certain holiday or long weekend (unless that was intentional). Knowing that you will see the children on a specific weekend in specific years allows you to plan a fun activity in advance, rather than spending the weekend angrily texting your ex and wondering when they will be returning the children to you. Be specific. You can include details regarding your regular family reunions, protocol for weddings and special events that you (and the children) may be invited to, and even made-up holidays that are special to your family.
  • Where the parents and children will live – If your Parenting Plan is silent on or too broad with respect to where the parents will live with the children after separation and in the future, you could face problems if one parent wants to move with the children. For example, if your goal is to maximize the contact between the children and both parents, it does not help to have a clause in a Parenting Plan stating that the parents intend to live near one another and endeavor to remain in the “Greater Toronto Area”. The area covered by the Greater Toronto Area is MASSIVE. The plan to spend as much time with your children as possible becomes nearly impossible if one parent decides to live in Mississauga and the other parent decides to live in Newmarket.
  • Extracurricular activities – Sometimes, parents have different ideas on the extracurricular activities their children should be involved in. Some parents want their children to be exposed to everything, while others want their children to pick one activity and stick to it. It is a problem when the Parenting Plan is silent on this issue, especially if both parents are going to contribute financially to this activity or the activity will be taking place during the other parent’s time with the children. This occurs most often when the Parenting Plan is negotiated when the children are very young and may not have any extracurricular activities at that time, but years later, the parents find themselves arguing about whether to put Junior into football or tennis or an expensive hockey league and who will pay for and bring the child to these activities.

If you find yourself constantly arguing with your children’s other parent about the terms of your Parenting Plan, Agreement or Court Order, perhaps it is time to revisit these terms to see if they are still working for your family. Families’ and children’s needs change constantly, so it may be time for an update so you can get back to doing what you do best, like planning a camping weekend with your kids and knowing that you won’t be interrupted. I welcome discussing these issues, so you can send me an email or give me a call.

“The information in this article is not intended as legal advice, and should not be considered as such. Family law varies from province to province and the outcome of your situation may also vary depending on the facts of your case. It is recommended that you seek the advice of a lawyer with respect to your family law matter. This article is for educational purposes only.”

Share Tweet

Carolyn Chambers

Carolyn is a lawyer at Gelman & Associates practicing exclusively Family Law in the Province of Ontario. She graduated from the John Molson School of Business at Concordia University in 2003 with a B.Comm. in Marketing. Then, she got her LL.L. (Civil Law) in 2007 and her LL.B. (Common Law) in 2008 from the National Program at the University of Ottawa. She also graduated from Osgoode Hall, York University in 2012 with an LL.M. in Family Law. She was called to the Ontario Bar in 2009, and while in law school, she was part of the first group of 11 students to work in the Clinique du droit notarial at the University of Ottawa. She considers herself the voice of her clients in a complicated court system, so she is an advocate you can count on. You can contact Carolyn Chambers at 416.665.6888 or email her at [email protected]

You Might Also Like

  • Get Inspired

    Make Lupita Nyong’o’s Oscar Award Your Own

  • Scopes

    Scopes: February 27th – March 5th

  • Better Dating Ideas

    Better Dating Ideas Calgary: March 19th – 22nd

More from this author

  • Dealing With Divorce

    Child Support: Shared And Split Custody

  • Relationships

    Marriage Contracts And What You Should Know

  • Dealing With Divorce

    And They Thought Love Was The Battlefield: Separation Without The Court Battle

No Comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Search

Subscribe & Follow

Follow @EligibleZine
Follow on Instagram
Eligible Magazine Pheed
Follow eligiblezine

Find us on Facebook

Eligible TV

Twitter: eligiblezine

  • There really is no place like home especially when our beaches are this beautiful we got together the best beaches… https://t.co/hiMFCfYUoO 04:00:23 PM July 12, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.
  • RT @EligibleZine: As time goes, on nature takes its course. An aging parent is hard enough to handle, let alone while keeping your relation… 11:43:50 AM July 12, 2019 from Twitter for iPhone
  • Comfort is great when it comes to beds, couches and clothes but for your life it can be limiting to your best poten… https://t.co/Le9uIQq6pg 10:45:15 AM July 08, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.

Eligible Poll

Eligible Magazine now available on iPad, iPhone and smartphone

  • Contributors

About

Eligible Magazine is a lifestyle magazine for urban men and women who want the best from their dating life, their relationships and themselves. It features articles and video content on dating, relationships, sex, wellness and lifestyle by some of the country's foremost experts. The magazine is available online, for sale on Apple's Newsstand for your iPad or iPhone and soon to be in print.

Recent Posts

  • Two Iconic Toronto Lifestyle Brands Unite

  • motionball 2022

    Motionball 2022 – Why You Should Mark Your Calendar

  • Why A Staycation Is Perfect For Your Next Date Night

  • Perfume for Women: What’s the Difference?

Contact

Contact Eligible Magazine
Work for Eligible Magazine
Advertise with Eligible Magazine
Write for Eligible Magazine
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy

Search

© 2013 Eligible Magazine. All rights reserved.
  • Sitemap
  • Help
  • Contact Us
  • Terms of Use
  • Copyright
  • Privacy & Cookie Policy
  • Advertising
  • Announcements
Eligible Magazine
Eligible Magazine on Apple App Store