Everyone deserves great love and fireworks. When it comes to relationships I follow 2 rules:
1) Never settle
2) Do not rush in.
“Never settle” is the best advice I can ever give. It doesn’t mean going after and getting everything on a list you may have made; it means knowing your own worth and value and not settling for less. Take care of yourself the way you would your most valued possession. Ask yourself, “Is this the right thing for me?” Release everything that no longer serves you so that space is made for what and whom does. When you know your value, you will attract a whole new different type of people into your life. You attract who you are. Love yourself on every level.
The other night I was cuddled up on the couch and a super cute romantic comedy, Fools Rush In, was airing. This movie illustrates rule #2 extremely well. Fools Rush In is a 1997 romantic comedy directed by Andy Tennant which stars Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. In this movie, sparks fly and result in a night of passion which in turn resulted in a pregnancy. On a whim, the couple engaged, and jumped two feet first into a marriage. Quickly chaos developed in their relationship due to different backgrounds, ideas, customs and cultures and things got pretty ugly and feelings were hurt.
Rushing in is a sure way to sabotage any relationship. It takes time to get to know another person and to develop strong foundations for an enduring and happy relationship. There are always going to be bumps in any relationship. In order to overcome these future obstacles as a couple, time invested into developing and strengthening the bond is essential.
A strong relationship requires two people who are authentic with themselves and with each other. Dig deep consistently. Be willing to find out what’s going on below your conscious awareness. Be real. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or enjoy things you don’t to impress someone. Doing so, will only lead to future disappointments.
It’s about knowing who YOU are, and knowing to the best of your ability that who you are partnering with is a match. You can do this by having clarity on what your needs and desires are and being able to communicate them to your partner. People have very different ideas of what a relationship and intimacy entails. If you are not a match, have the strength to let your partner go so the right mate can be attracted into your life. Burying anything under the rug and not expressing your truth is a recipe for an unsatisfying and unfulfilling relationship.
Physical attraction clouds your judgement. It’s normal to ignore red flags at this point so take your time becoming exclusive and intimate with your partner.
Most men can have sex without any emotional attachment. Only some women can do this. When women experience “The Big O” endorphins and the hormones vasopressin and oxytocin flood the body giving us feelings of “bonding” and attachment. Women are wired to bond through sex. Sex simply doesn’t lead to love for men. But one study of young women showed that 50% of these women think sex is a stepping-stone to a relationship.
Identify and communicate with your partner what your expectations are prior to sex to ensure you are on the same page and save some possible heartbreak from occurring.
Sex in its purest form is perfectly natural and beautiful. Pleasure should be celebrated by everyone on a frequent basis. Pleasure is a very powerful tool in experiencing a joy-filled life. Allowing pleasure and joy into your life is an act of self-love. It`s important to have an authentic connection with your chosen partner. In order to relax amidst ones company, you must be able to trust and allow yourself to be vulnerable. I do feel casual sex is empty and pointless for many of us, and it complicates things by energetically entangling us with those we don’t wish to be seriously connected to. When you think about it, the act itself is a merging into one-ness. So, choose wisely who you share intimacy with. The more connected you are spiritually with your partner, the more pleasure you will experience. Sexual and orgasmic energy is extremely powerful and can be used to create awareness on the journey to enlightenment.
Bliss is our true essence- the more we have the more we connect to our divinity.
Take your sweet time getting to know one another. Until you are in an exclusive relationship date a lot. How else are you going to know who the right person for you is if you only have one person to choose from? We are only compatible with approximately 2/100 people and they could be your family or same sex friends. So get out in the world and expand, enhance your life with new hobbies, projects, friends. A successful long-term relationship is built on many factors of compatibility, values, characteristics, attitudes, morals, hobbies, and yes attraction/chemistry. Attraction and chemistry can’t be the foundation of a relationship, it is the icing on the cake!
Don’t chase love. What happens if you chase something? It runs! Just relax. Don’t try to force love by pretending to be someone you’re not or settling for anything less than what you desire. Always be yourself! Don’t ever change who you are because you think it’ll make someone else happy. The world needs YOU. If you focus on living a passionate, high-value life then the right relationship will present itself.
Everyone deserves a relationship that ignites and excites them, gives them not only butterflies, but a whole lot of delight and passion. However, it takes TIME to know if a partnership is the RIGHT one for you, so do you and your partner a favor, and don’t rush in.