Remember when you and your partner first started dating, way back when? All you could do was think about each other and have sex! Is that still true today? If you’re one of the lucky guys that answers yes to this question, congratulations! The reality is, most of us, men and women alike, answer no. It’s not that we are all in bad or unhealthy relationships. A dying down of the flame between you and your spouse is completely normal, but if the flame has all but extinguished then you need to take action right away.
If you have been following my work for a while now, you might already know that the most important erogenous zone for a woman is her brain. Before touch or turning on any other part of her body, you need to first get her in the right mood. This doesn’t have to be impossible if you know what to do.
It all comes down to good and healthy communication between you and your partner. Women tend to be the ones who love talking things out, whereas men are usually the quieter gender, but that doesn’t have to be the case. The right kind of communication can bring you closer and get you having a lot more sex. Here’s the way to use communication to get back into her thoughts, her head and her pants!
* Compliment her. Many women worry a lot about how they look, both during sex and outside of the bedroom. These concerns can seriously and negatively affect her desire level. It makes sense if you think about it. If she doesn’t feel attractive, she doesn’t feel like having sex. Unfortunately, you can’t completely fix all of her negative body image issues for her, but you can make a difference. Just think, negative thoughts about herself are running through her head and you need to find a way to combat those thoughts. The best way for you to do that is to shower her with compliments.
* Be genuine. Your compliments should be honest and from the heart. She will be able to spot insincerity. It’s great to tell her how beautiful and sexy you think she is. Make sure you do so, both in the bedroom and out. However, you should also compliment her about other things. For example, when she’s just done something great at work, tell her how smart she is and how much she impresses you. Show her how wonderful you think she is and she’ll start feeling wonderful. You both will start feeling closer to each other and the intimacy in the relationship will grow. When women feel close and intimate with their partners their desire level grows.
* Let her know you think about her. When you were first together you probably called her all the time, sent text messages and emails (if those were around back then), and did all kinds of thoughtful things for her. Over the years those things change and that’s not always a bad thing. If we continued to think about each other and talk like we did in the beginning of a relationship, we would never get anything done. But it’s time to start doing some of those things again. Send her a sweet message now and then. Bring her a thoughtful gift. Send her flowers. Remember that a thoughtful gesture doesn’t have to be grand or expensive. It can be as simple as bringing her a favorite coffee drink at work one afternoon or picking up her favorite dessert one evening.
* Pamper her. Be a gentleman. Take care of her. Give her a back rub after a long day. Listen to her rant about her boss. Take an interest in what interests her.
* Talk dirty. Then take the communication into the bedroom. When talking dirty make sure that you do what comes naturally. Talking dirty doesn’t always have to be just one way. It can be as vanilla and simple as, “You’re so sexy, you turn me on so much.” Or it can be dirtier. Do what feels natural to you.
You can also give feedback and ask for feedback in a sexy way. Ask her if she likes what you’re doing or better yet, say “Show me how you like it.” When giving her feedback always keep it very positive. Say, “It feels so good when you do…” instead of saying, “don’t do…”
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By Gabrielle Moore
Gabrielle Moore helps couples around the world improve their sex lives. She communicates daily with her more than 300,000 subscribers. Gabrielle is the author of several best-selling books, such as “The Female Orgasm Revealed“, “Turn Her On Faster“, “Hot Licks“, and many others.