Do You Have A Hidden Agenda?

The key to happiness is to expect nothing and appreciate everything. They key to a successful relationship is authenticity. Authenticity… being honest, with yourself and with others. Authenticity… being genuine. To be authentic requires an excavation of the mind every single morning. Really get in there and dig! Who are you? What do you stand for? What do you want? How do you feel?

Authenticity requires you look into your soul and to be honest with yourself. If you don’t do this daily check-in, you risk losing the connection to your highest self and you may start to pull the wool over your own eyes. In dating, being dishonest with yourself can really creep up on you. Attraction, lust, and love can take us for a ride! What a great ride it is, nothing is more exhilarating than rising in love. However, It can always be quite turbulent. At some point, your feelings and emotions can become entangled with someone else’s. What may have started off as “getting to know someone” may very well develop into wanting more. This is great, if it’s how you both feel and it’s communicated. The issue I see quite often is when it’s not communicated by one of the parties and expectations and conditions are placed upon the other person.

All of a sudden, love and kindness is not given unconditionally. Reciprocation is desired and when it’s not reciprocated resentment occurs. Feelings become hurt. Tension arises. Even if you are lying to yourself, your vibe doesn’t lie. Energy and intent is hard to camouflage. Your potential partner is going to feel pressure from you. In reality, you have a hidden agenda and that agenda is to receive this person’s love and acceptance. At this point you lose your authenticity and a strong relationship cannot be formed. The more expectations you place on other people, the less serenity you will experience. Anytime you are feeling resentful, it’s a sign that you have displaced your focus. You and you alone maintain the sole ownership of your own happiness and inner peace. Feeling any sort of discord towards another person means that you are not taking care of yourself. You have lost your connection to your highest self. When you check-in with yourself daily, you can stay in awareness of what you need to do for yourself that day in order for you to experience an abundance of love. Love should always be given unconditionally. Nobody owes you anything. Keep your heart open and your expectations low. It’s important to realize that you belong to you and no one else is ever going to complete you.

It’s not about the guy/gal and what you’re not getting from them, it’s about YOU and what is already inside of you.

Do you want to be loved? Love yourself! How? By doing activities that give you joy and that are good for you. Move your body, create something, spend time alone in your “man cave” or “lady luxe-room”, read a book, sing, dance, write, give back…follow your bliss! Drop all agendas you may have created in your interactions. It’s not about the guy/gal and what you’re not getting from them, it’s about YOU and what is already inside of you. Requiring love and acceptance from anyone else is an insecurity that we have masked from ourselves. Confidence is established through self-love and through faith. In life, you WILL get back what you give out. Its universal law but if you’re giving for the sake of getting it back, then that’s not authentic at all. You must be so full of love for yourself that it doesn’t matter if it’s reciprocated in return.

The right person for you WILL come along when the time is right. Have faith in that. Faith can move mountains and most certainly can demolish your insecurities. God has great love in store for each and every one of us. I really believe this. Be patient. Successful dating requires learning how to speak honestly with yourself first and in really appreciating who you are. Communicate with your partner openly and share your needs and desires. The right person will want to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. You’re worthy of that, and it’s absolutely what you deserve. When you are aware of your inner desires and speak from the heart and truly love and accept yourself first and foremost for who you are, only then will the right person for you be attracted into your life. A healthy, long-term relationship requires honesty with yourself and with others. Do yourself a favor and spend 5 minutes each morning tuning into your needs, desires and feelings. Remind yourself how absolutely kick-ass you are! Be so full of love for yourself that you don’t require it from anywhere else!

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