The dreaded B word. We’ve all been there, getting there or going through it. Parting ways with a former lover whether for the best or worst is always hard. These tough decisions can raise questions of confusion, false emotions and quite frankly many of our personal insecurities. Whether you’re the giver or the receiver of the break don’t cut yourself short. Just like dating breaking up can be a task to maneuver around and like relationships, they are all different.
Now, I am no professional but in these matters I don’t think that’s what a girl needs. Just having recently been there and feeling like I finally have a handle on the process, it can be a lot simpler than you think. Deal. Feel. Be Active. Take Time and Do you! If one of these tricks give you comfort and assistance, I have done my job. It’s called a breakup after all and nothing about that sounds pleasant.
1. Don’t brush it off. Girl, you just got your heart broken. Unfortunately those pieces are too delicate to be swept away and forgotten. You can’t always be hard as a rock and every Superwoman owes it to herself to be soft sometimes. Embrace it. The more you feel the easier it will be to move on in the long run. Take some time to heal yourself in whatever way you need to. Take your time and don’t rush the healing process. Get your favourite wine, snack and movie. Cry, laugh or scare it out. Have a you night…or two!
2. Talk about it. Women truly have an amazing bond. Although caddy at times, we love our girlfriends and our girlfriends love us. We need each other to rationalize and find commonalities in those tricky things we call feelings. Get it out to your bestie. She’ll understand. Sometimes the more we verbally express something the more sense we make of it and in the end the less we want to talk or think about you know who.
3. Keep busy. An active mind and body often belong to those of the healthiest and usually when we least want to pick up and go is the times where we need it most. Read. Write. Yoga. Run. Kickbox. Sexy Fitness Classes. Whatever it may be- DO IT! You may feel like you want to crawl into a hole before putting on your heels to do a Sexy Jazz class or can’t even think of focusing enough to read the last chapter of your book but I guarantee you will feel sparkly new, even if it’s for a little bit. In this transition time we do need distractions and need to focus our energy elsewhere. The best place is some where positive!
4. Give some time and space before you try and connect with the ex. I personally suck at this. In relationships we get used to someones love and attention. This can be the hardest thing to deal with. In turn this dependency or addiction to another person can cloud our true judgment of the situation. A lot of the times we trick ourselves and end up in vicious cycles with someone we don’t belong with because of this. Give yourself a week buffer. If you want to talk then, do it. If not on to the next!
5. Do you. Whether we like to address it or not a relationship can be somewhat of a compromise. We are meshing two lives into one and some things get lost in that translation. Focus on the things that you love to do and the people and things that make you the best version of yourself. Treat this as a process of rediscovery and exploration. Date yourself!
Just because someone broke up with you doesn’t mean that you aren’t fabulous! As we grow and evolve so do the depths of our relationships. They are this interesting part of life that get more complicated yet simple at the same time. You deserve exactly what you want…to the T! And that’s nothing but the best. You need to be loved, cherished and desired for being 100% you. When one door closes another door opens. Remember chin up ladies. Diva’s can do anything!
DivaGirl Entertainment Representative.
Ashley is a Dancer and Instructor based in Toronto.