Every sex advice column talks about foreplay, foreplay, foreplay and how important it is to the woman’s sexual experience, but few get into the nitty gritty details of how to do it just right, how long to spend doing one thing, and what to do next. That’s why I thought, what my readers need is the set up for the perfect night of ecstasy, taking them through each stage of foreplay and explaining what, when, and how long.
So here goes guys!
Step 1 – Setting the mood
This is one of the things a lot of men overlook when it comes to sex. It’s likely because setting the mood is probably the most boring part of what you’re going to do, but here’s a little inside information for you: women who are distracted by their messy home, a laundry list of chores, work problems, or a whole slew of other things are much less likely to feel like having sex. Do what you can to ease the load of her work and stress. Take over her portion of the chores that night. Let her vent over dinner about her stressful day or jerk of a boss. Then make sure the environment in the bedroom (or wherever you choose to do it) is tranquil and stress-free.
Step 2 – Attention on her
Begin by undressing her slowly. If she starts to help, gently push her hands away. Even just taking her clothes off can be a part of foreplay, don’t rush it. Get her down to her bra and underwear and have some fun. Slide her bra strap down and kiss her along the clavicle, shoulder, and neck. Slide it back on and continue kissing and licking down her stomach, all the way down. Kiss, suck and lick on her thighs and all around her vulva, but through her panties. Tell her how sexy she looks.
Step 3 – Kissing
Women are not in a rush and they will get much more turned on if you take things nice and slow. Taking things slow also has a teasing element to it, which is great for building desire and sexual tension. A lot of women complain that men don’t spend enough time on kissing, instead they rush right away for the genitals. Spend time kissing her all over, and not just on her mouth, kiss her neck, shoulders, ears, breasts, stomach, thighs… be creative and take your time.
Step 4 – Turn up the heat
Without rushing things, slowly begin paying attention to her genital area. Pull her panties to the side and give her a few soft licks, but then put them back in place and move on. Continue to go back with more frequency. Then take her panties off but ignore her genital area for a bit, going back to kissing her on her breasts, neck and ears. Finally make your way down there and stay for a while.
Step 5 – Oral
I’m not going to get into too many details here, but instead refer you to my Complete Guide to Oral Sex article. Just remember to keep teasing and taking things slow. From here you can either decide whether you want oral to be the main event (with reciprocation afterwards of course!) or if you should move on to vaginal sex. Take a cue from your partner and do what you think she might enjoy more.
The key to great foreplay is to do what your partner likes, but remember to keep things interesting. Just because you know she likes to be kissed on her ears doesn’t mean you should go for that every single time. Change things up and be creative about how you use foreplay. You don’t have to have the perfect night of foreplay every time you have sex, but foreplay should be on the menu each time. You’ll know you’ve done enough when SHE is the one who’s ready to take things to the next level. Foreplay will be what gets her really excited for sex and if you do it right and all the time then sex will be more enjoyable for her every time, and therefore she will be more interested.
By Gabrielle Moore
Gabrielle Moore helps couples around the world improve their sex lives. She communicates daily with her more than 300,000 subscribers. Gabrielle is the author of several best-selling books, such as “The Female Orgasm Revealed“, “Turn Her On Faster“, “Hot Licks“, and many others.