Want a more satisfying sex life? Try this!

The Partner Interview

I love my job! As a sexologist, I work with thousands of clients each year to support them in building happy, healthy relationships and sex lives.

One of the best parts of my work involves facilitating workshops for couples. From the chilly Great White North to the sunny shores of the Caribbean, I teach classes on everything from sexual communication and trust to kink and sexual technique. Since the most rewarding part of running workshops is the feedback I receive from clients, I thought I’d share an exercise that always receives rave reviews: The Partner Interview.

This exercise involves a very simple set of questions that you take turn answering with your lover. Here are just a few reasons why my clients and I love it:

1. You can repeat it every few months and learn something new every time.
2. It opens up new conversations.
3. You can add your own questions to suit your personal needs.
4. Even if you don’t use all the information right away, you’ll find that your partner’s answers will come in handy down the road.

Read through the questions below and let your partner answer each one while you listen intently. Then switch it up and do your best to answer the questions as honestly as possible. If you have trouble answering a question, you can pass. You may want to reflect upon why some questions are difficult to answer and follow-up a few days later.

The Partner Interview Questions:

1. What is my best personality trait?
2. What is your best personality trait?
3. What first attracted you to me?
4. What do you think is my best physical feature?
5. In your opinion, where is the hottest place we’ve had sex?
6. Name one place you’d like to have sex that we haven’t tried yet.
7. What is your favourite position?
8. If I were to initiate sex tomorrow night, how would you like me to do it?
9. Describe an orgasm in three words or less.
10.  What is one reason you love me?

Set aside 20 minutes to complete this exercise and whatever you do, don’t be too hard on yourself or your partner. Talking about sex isn’t always easy to do!