• Nationwide
  • Toronto
  • Vancouver
  • Calgary
  • Montreal
  • Los Angeles
  • Chicago
  • NYC
Eligible Magazine
  • Dating
    • Editor’s Dating Notes
    • Better Dating Ideas
    • “The Bachelor” Advice
    • Guy Talk
    • Girl Talk
  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Events
  • Fashion
    • Men’s Style
    • Women’s Style
  • Lifestyle
    • Gossip
    • Wine & Dine
    • Luxurious Living
    • Entertainment
    • Destinations
  • Wellness
    • Men’s Fitness
    • Women’s Fitness
    • Get Inspired
    • Doctor’s Orders
    • A Better YOU
    • Beauty
  • Bachelor & Bachelorette
  • Cities
    • Nationwide
    • Toronto
    • Vancouver
    • Calgary
    • Montreal
    • Los Angeles
    • Chicago
    • NYC
Girl Talk 0

How To Be Alone

By Christine Hart · On January 31, 2013

I recently had a female client say to me, “Oh, I’d never do that alone!”

It was her response after I suggested to a group of women that one of the many ways to meet men was to set up a time to meet a friend at a restaurant…and then arrive 30 minutes early. Especially if you are both single and looking, once your friend arrives, you have already settled in at the bar, been in contact with the bartender and likely started a conversation with the person seated next to you.

It had me consider though how many of us simply aren’t comfortable doing things alone. Why is that?

One of my fave authors is called SARK and she writes fun books about being authentically you and celebrating yourself every single day. Something I am a big fan of. She calls women who are afraid to go out to public places alone, “Captive Women”. (not including places like public transit, grocery stores, Laundromats, etc where we often do actually go alone)

SARK: Captive Women never do ‘social’ activities without a man or a group of women. If questioned about going out alone, they make a squeamish face and say, “I couldn’t go out alone. It wouldn’t be any fun.” Even women who are not like this are shy about going out alone. There is still a social stigma about being out “alone” (translation: boring, desperate, nobody likes her). Going out alone is a skill and an art that can be learned, shared, and implemented. 

There are things you can have with you to assist in being alone confidently. I suggest a good book, a magazine, a sketchbook, some knitting needles, your journal. Whatever you like! Notice how I’ve very specifically NOT suggested your smartphone. I believe it needs to be an activity that is one-way communication or has the ability to create an experience while being alone in public. If you are on your smartphone the whole time, I don’t think it really counts as being alone.

Here’s a cute video on the power (and fun) of being alone:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs[/youtube]

The thing we worry about when doing ‘social’ activities alone is what others will think. Don’t worry about that and even if you are out alone and you don’t feel confident about it, just act “as if” you are!

SARK: If you learn and practice an attitude of confidence and take your own tools, you will begin to feel more free in the world, to go anywhere by yourself and create your own magic. If you already know how to do this, please help other women learn it! Practice saying this: I am welcome everywhere. A place is lucky to have me visit.

I believe going out alone can create new opportunities to get into conversations with people you might not if you were out with friends. Start simple and then build from there. Sometimes you will meet people and other times you will enjoy some quiet, reflective or creative time while in a public place. I have met some of the most interesting people when I was out alone – whether in my neighborhood or while traveling on the other side of the planet – it’s an adventure!

Don’t deny someone the pleasure of meeting you. J

Live Love,

Christine

Share Tweet

Christine Hart

As a Gender Communication Specialist & Relationship Coach for almost a decade, Christine is the founder of Your Date Coach Inc. She is an industry leader in navigating the world of effective male/female communication. Her guidance and techniques have led to more than 65 lasting marriages. She is the author of 'The Art of Living a Flirtatious Life', - a book dedicated to helping women connect with the power of their femininity. Christine holds a BA in Communication Studies and is a graduate of the PAX Mastery Program in California. PAX is dedicated to transforming the way men and women relate to each other. yourdatecoach.com

You Might Also Like

  • threesome Sex

    How To Introduce A Threesome

  • Taste Of Summer Wine & Dine

    Taste Of Summer

  • Entertainment

    Date Night: The Place Beyond The Pines

More from this author

  • Girl Talk

    Should I Tell My Current Partner When I Run Into An Ex?

  • Girl Talk

    No, You Are NOT A Loser For Being Single On NYE.

  • Girl Talk

    Are We Really “Just Friends”?

No Comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Search

Subscribe & Follow

Follow @EligibleZine
Follow on Instagram
Eligible Magazine Pheed
Follow eligiblezine

Find us on Facebook

Eligible TV

Twitter: eligiblezine

  • There really is no place like home especially when our beaches are this beautiful we got together the best beaches… https://t.co/hiMFCfYUoO 04:00:23 PM July 12, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.
  • RT @EligibleZine: As time goes, on nature takes its course. An aging parent is hard enough to handle, let alone while keeping your relation… 11:43:50 AM July 12, 2019 from Twitter for iPhone
  • Comfort is great when it comes to beds, couches and clothes but for your life it can be limiting to your best poten… https://t.co/Le9uIQq6pg 10:45:15 AM July 08, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.

Eligible Poll

Eligible Magazine now available on iPad, iPhone and smartphone

  • Contributors

About

Eligible Magazine is a lifestyle magazine for urban men and women who want the best from their dating life, their relationships and themselves. It features articles and video content on dating, relationships, sex, wellness and lifestyle by some of the country's foremost experts. The magazine is available online, for sale on Apple's Newsstand for your iPad or iPhone and soon to be in print.

Recent Posts

  • Two Iconic Toronto Lifestyle Brands Unite

  • motionball 2022

    Motionball 2022 – Why You Should Mark Your Calendar

  • Why A Staycation Is Perfect For Your Next Date Night

  • Perfume for Women: What’s the Difference?

Contact

Contact Eligible Magazine
Work for Eligible Magazine
Advertise with Eligible Magazine
Write for Eligible Magazine
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy

Search

© 2013 Eligible Magazine. All rights reserved.
  • Sitemap
  • Help
  • Contact Us
  • Terms of Use
  • Copyright
  • Privacy & Cookie Policy
  • Advertising
  • Announcements
Eligible Magazine
Eligible Magazine on Apple App Store