How To Flirt With Your Lover

An excerpt from Dr. Jess’ best-seller, Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks.

Flirting is one of the most fundamental human behaviors and each of us is hard-wired to seduce prospective partners with flirtatious gestures and expressions. When you first meet, the flirting meter flies off the charts, but this sexy courting ritual wanes with time and can easily disappear even in loving relationships. This can be catastrophic, as evolutionary psychologists believe that flirting with your own partner is actually a genetic survival tactic. Translation? Flirting leads to more sex!

Here are a few flirting tips to take your prolonged foreplay to new heights:

Touch! Brush your hand against your lover’s thigh in non-sexual situations to make the blood rush to their pelvic region and give them a taste of what’s to come later on. This isn’t a commitment to “have sex” when you get home, but just a reminder that your attraction to them is still red-hot.

Be unpredictable. Surprise your honey with sexy texts, love notes or unannounced lunch dates. Again, sex doesn’t have to be on the table for you to enjoy some intimacy, romance and sexual tension. The power of suggestion can sometimes be as hot as sex itself.

Offer compliments. This is an easy one! If you’re new to flirting or feel awkward dishing out sexy talk, begin with compliments of an animalistic nature. Tell your lover how much you love their skin, eyes, thighs, arms or any other feature you’re genuinely attracted to as you look them up and down with lust.

Whisper! Almost anything sounds sexy when you lower your voice. So the next time you’re eating dinner alone, walk over to your partner’s side and whisper sweet nothings in their ear.

Dress the part. A three-piece suit or five-inch stilettos may not always be practical, but if you want to turn on the flirt, you need to feel sexy. So make a point of dressing up in outfits, underwear and shoes that make you feel seductive and irresistible. And when your partner goes out of their way to impress you with their attire, be sure to lay on the flattery to show appreciation for the effort.

Be playful! Flirting doesn’t have to be serious business — it should be fun! Don’t worry about saying everything perfectly and make light of any blunders, awkward moments and mishaps. Laughter and sex actually have a lot in common, as they both are accompanied by a surge in endorphins. And since laughter helps to break the tension, it may just be the relaxant you need to enjoy an evening (or morning) or sexual intimacy.

Say no to pressure. Flirting may lead to physical sex play, but it doesn’t have to. Anyone who has ever enjoyed a passionate courtship will tell you that the chase can be just as hot as the prize. So enjoy the journey for what it is.