• Nationwide
  • Toronto
  • Vancouver
  • Calgary
  • Montreal
  • Los Angeles
  • Chicago
  • NYC
Eligible Magazine
  • Dating
    • Editor’s Dating Notes
    • Better Dating Ideas
    • “The Bachelor” Advice
    • Guy Talk
    • Girl Talk
  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Events
  • Fashion
    • Men’s Style
    • Women’s Style
  • Lifestyle
    • Gossip
    • Wine & Dine
    • Luxurious Living
    • Entertainment
    • Destinations
  • Wellness
    • Men’s Fitness
    • Women’s Fitness
    • Get Inspired
    • Doctor’s Orders
    • A Better YOU
    • Beauty
  • Bachelor & Bachelorette
  • Cities
    • Nationwide
    • Toronto
    • Vancouver
    • Calgary
    • Montreal
    • Los Angeles
    • Chicago
    • NYC
Courageous Living, Relationships 0

Do You Have Attention Deficit Dating?

By Tanya Joanna @Courageouslivin · On March 14, 2013

“Oh, were you going away? I completely forgot! I’m really bad with details.”

“Did you text me?” “I meant to text you back; I really did.”

“Was I supposed to plan something – I thought you were supposed to call me. “

“Did you tell me your Dog was sick, that’s funny, I thought that was someone else.”

“Hellooo? Are you paying attention?”

serial_dater-LIFEBYTES

What is Attention Deficit Dating?

Attention Deficit Dating is reminiscent of the ever popular Attention Deficit Disorder characterized by symptoms of:

  • Inattention
  • Easy distractibility
  • Disorganization
  • Procrastination
  • Forgetfulness

Unlike traditional forms of ADD, a person with Attention Deficit Dating only exhibits the characteristics in the area of dating and intimate relationships. In other life categories such as career, fitness, leisure, education, finance etc., there is a keen sense of focus, commitment, drive and even strategic aptitude.

Have you experienced indicators such as:

  • Attending a party or on a date but texting on your phone.
  • Forgetting details of stories, important dates or events.
  • Not keeping consistent eye contact – or being distracted by everything that moves.
  • Retelling personal stories or jokes that people have already heard over and again.
  • Making excuses for not following up or following through.
  • And many more…

What are some of the more prevalent underlying reasons? Do any of them apply to you?

Connected Disconnect: Your ever increasing world of distraction detaches you from the present moment and keeps you in isolation (acting connected through technology but feeling lonely). You are in a combined state of overwhelm and anticipation; already bombarded with information yet still checking your social feeds to feel like you belong.

One-upping: You are easily bored and looking for the next “big thing”. Nothing or no-one ever feels good enough – or you feel you are missing out or that life is more interesting or “happening” elsewhere.

Self-Involvement:  “You aren’t that into them” and are so wrapped up in your own world that there is no room for other people’s details.

Bad Social Manners: Your mother never taught you better because she didn’t grow up with a cell phone.

Intimacy Issues: Are you commitment – phobic

Practice Makes Permanent

Dating is supposed to be about practicing for the “real thing”. But if you develop the habit of Attention Deficit Dating, you will have a difficult time staying focused long enough to know if you are with the “one”. You may also miss the red flags  that others may be waiving in your early conversations. But most importantly you won’t develop the required skills for lasting love: empathic listening, compassion, respect, reliability and so on.  People with attention deficit dating may never experience fulfilling relationships or a genuine sense of intimacy and belonging. Some people may be happy in this emotionally buffered safety zone, but if you are interested in experiencing true love, we encourage you to courageously check in with yourself and create new habits of being mindfully present, technologically naked and open to experiencing the person standing before you for who they are.

Share Tweet

Tanya Joanna

Tanya Chernova and Joanna Andros are co-founders of Courageous Living and master educators in the area of personal growth and development. Engaging, informative, inspiring and entertaining! They provide the information tools and resources to help women and men recharge and reconnect to themselves and their dreams. They lead powerful events to help people do the healing heart work™ and get results they want and write the next fulfilling and joyful chapters of their lives. They candidly share their life lessons and experiences and are successful entrepreneurs, coaches, authors, speakers and popular guests on radio and television. courageousliving.com

You Might Also Like

  • dating ideas Montreal Better Dating Ideas

    Better Dating Ideas Montreal

  • fools rush in Dating

    When Fools Rush In

  • Eligible TV

    Eligible Magazine Covers The 2014 Comicon Show In Toronto

More from this author

  • Courageous Living

    The 1 Minute Test: Are You Dating “The ONE?”

  • Relationships

    Is the Person You Love Afraid to Love You? – Stage 1: The Beginning

  • Relationships

    Relationship Red Flags

No Comments

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Search

Subscribe & Follow

Follow @EligibleZine
Follow on Instagram
Eligible Magazine Pheed
Follow eligiblezine

Find us on Facebook

Eligible TV

Twitter: eligiblezine

  • There really is no place like home especially when our beaches are this beautiful we got together the best beaches… https://t.co/hiMFCfYUoO 04:00:23 PM July 12, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.
  • RT @EligibleZine: As time goes, on nature takes its course. An aging parent is hard enough to handle, let alone while keeping your relation… 11:43:50 AM July 12, 2019 from Twitter for iPhone
  • Comfort is great when it comes to beds, couches and clothes but for your life it can be limiting to your best poten… https://t.co/Le9uIQq6pg 10:45:15 AM July 08, 2019 from Hootsuite Inc.

Eligible Poll

Eligible Magazine now available on iPad, iPhone and smartphone

  • Contributors

About

Eligible Magazine is a lifestyle magazine for urban men and women who want the best from their dating life, their relationships and themselves. It features articles and video content on dating, relationships, sex, wellness and lifestyle by some of the country's foremost experts. The magazine is available online, for sale on Apple's Newsstand for your iPad or iPhone and soon to be in print.

Recent Posts

  • Two Iconic Toronto Lifestyle Brands Unite

  • motionball 2022

    Motionball 2022 – Why You Should Mark Your Calendar

  • Why A Staycation Is Perfect For Your Next Date Night

  • Perfume for Women: What’s the Difference?

Contact

Contact Eligible Magazine
Work for Eligible Magazine
Advertise with Eligible Magazine
Write for Eligible Magazine
Unsubscribe
Privacy Policy

Search

© 2013 Eligible Magazine. All rights reserved.
  • Sitemap
  • Help
  • Contact Us
  • Terms of Use
  • Copyright
  • Privacy & Cookie Policy
  • Advertising
  • Announcements
Eligible Magazine
Eligible Magazine on Apple App Store