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How Can You Impact Your Relationships And Your Feelings for the Better? HINT: Choose Your Words Wisely

By Nicole McCance @nicole_mccance · On August 2, 2013

Have you ever stopped to really listen to the words you choose to speak? Have you ever really loved what someone said to you and those words seem to stick in your mind? Have you ever been told something that really hurt your feelings, and you will never forget those words?

The words we choose to say are windows into our true values and beliefs. Some of our deepest held beliefs become very evident just by the delivery of our words. We may not realize, but we have a lot of personal power available to us in exercising active word choice. Although, most language is found in body language and emotion, the words we choose to use are the exact language that is being delivered and has the power to engage, connect and resonate with ourselves and others.

If you are looking to make meaningful connections and create highly impact your relationships with your clients (and people alike), it may be time to analyze the words you use how you use them.

Keep reading:

Words to Enter
In most conversations, the flow of the conversation will have a clear beginning, a clear ending, and content in between. How you introduce yourself reveals your current state of mind and therefore your current state of being. Even if you feel “so so” you can choose your next active state in a moment just by choosing to use actively changing words.

For example, someone asks you how you are and you reply with, “I’m alright, and I’m getting better by the minute.” This way, you have responded truthfully (being honest is a great characteristic) and you have also signaled to that person and to your subconscious mind that you are in fact getting better by the minute. These are powerful, intentional choices of words and it is sure to activate and energize yourself and your listener.

Would you want to be around someone who is getting better by the minute? If the answer is yes, this suggestion may very well transform the way you are.

Words to Describe
If you are in fact feeling really good, perhaps, even exceptional, then exclaim with authenticity that this is how you feel with matching descriptive words. Use words such as superb, excellent, outstanding and awesome. If you have ever had a boss, teacher or authority figure describe you or your work with words like outstanding, amazing, fantastic, ask yourself how did you feel afterward? These are such powerful words as they have powerful meaning behind them.

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Strong, descriptive words tend to have a positive connotation surrounding them and they are also on the higher end of words we can choose to use. Using positive, larger-than-life words must, of course, come from an authentic place, but as you speak truth and move towards these kinds of words you will create a momentum in your personal experience and this is often contagious for your listener.

The next time you choose high impact, positive words notice how you feel right after, then notice how your listener responds. For example, your eyes widen, theirs might too. This signals more depth of reception and heightened emotional awareness. You smile, and they may smile or smile more, which signals positive, happier state of being. You stand taller, and they may stand taller with you as you use such grand words, and standing tall signals confidence and alertness. Overall, the effect you have just instigated is highly effective for raising your mutual energy and elevating the mood of the conversation.

Words to Exit
In the same way you have chosen great introductory words, words of gratitude and positive, high impact descriptive words, you may want to choose similar words to exit. It completes the conversation full circle and you may even say intentional words such as, “I intend on calling you tomorrow to follow up” or “I look forward to talking again next week”.

Remember, the words we choose to use are the exact language that is being delivered and has the power to engage, connect and resonate with ourselves and others. Immediately use words of thanks or gratitude to express yourself.

So, “How Can You Impact Your Relationships and Your Feelings for the Better?”

If you are with people you care about, you’ve just made it much more enjoyable and valuable to spend time with you. If you are a business person, you’ve just increased the likelihood of your listeners engaging in business with you.

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As social beings, it is a choice to be with others. Our form of communication is heavily based on body language, but the solidification of our communication is through language. Our words make our language rich and explicit. Our choice of words, therefore, has substantial weight in conducting how we feel and how we make others feel. They also carry our way through our indicative state of mind. While you may not want to dive deep into the psychological science behind this reasoning, you can verify these examples in your own personal experience.

You may also ask yourself how you feel around all the times others have used positive words with you. What does it feel like to be with people who use high impact words to describe their products or services? Do you know people who always use positive, uplifting words? How do these experiences impact your day, your life? Your words indicate how you feel, how you think and how you relate to others. How can you impact your relationships and your feelings for the better? Choose your words wisely.

 

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Nicole McCance

Nominated, RBC Women Entrepreneur of the Year, Nicole McCance M.A. is a fully licensed Psychological Associate. Her services are covered under extended health care and she is licensed to diagnose mental disorders. Nicole is also an author of the best-selling book 52 Ways to Beat Depression Naturally. She has over 9 years of formal university education and has completed a certificate program in trauma and recovery from Harvard Medical School. She has a M.A in Counselling Psychology from the University of Toronto, a B.A. in Criminology and a B.A with Honours in Psychology from Carleton University. Nicole owns Nicole McCance Psychology, which has over 10 counselling locations providing both individual and couples counselling across the GTA. Over 120 individuals and couples receive counselling every month through Nicole McCance Psychology. She has been providing counselling and assessment services for the past 10 years across North America and in Russia. She has been a frequent contributor to media outlets such as CP24, CTV News, CTV National, Global TV,City TV, CBC News, Rogers, CBC Radio, ABC Spark, E!, the Toronto Star and Canadian Living. You can visit her website at nicolemccance.com.

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