ENVY: The veil of jealousy that is worn by those who find little happiness and satisfaction in their own lives, resenting the successes and accomplishments of others, they feel they deserve.
There is this overwhelming need to expose what’s wrong with someone when you can’t handle all that’s right about them. Jealous and envious individuals are the shadows that line the walls waiting for their opportunity to take your place. There is a sneakiness that lies beneath the surface; they want to see you do good, but never better than them; should you surpass them, they will desire and aim to dismantle you and bring them down.
We’ve all experienced the emotion or been subjected to jealousy and envy in some way. It has varying levels and degrees of obtrusiveness, and sometimes it can be displayed in ways that seem almost flattering, like copying someone’s outfit or haircut; others may praise you relentlessly to hide their resentment; others my bleed bitterness to ruin your happiness when you’re in a new relationship or sabotage you to fail.
I tell my clients that of all the things in life that can be acquired, love is the most coveted and intangible, it’s the “ultimate prize”, causing the most jealous rivalries. Moreover, I advise them not to share any news until they are 100% certain they are sharing it with people that truly want them to be in a successful, happy and healthy relationship.
I lived with the cloak of jealousy smothering me my entire adolescence.
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My relationship with my mother was always like navigating an aquarium of murky water. I idolized this woman, she was an incredibly successful entrepreneur at a time when many women weren’t working; she was glamorous, beautiful and loved by an entourage of admirers.
I was a dreamer; visionary; trendsetting and walking to the beat of my own drum; with little care of what others thought of me, but I was often mocked, hated and misunderstood.
Before my mother passed, she expressed remorse for having spent years finding faults in me out of jealousy. I was shocked at her admission, as I had just thought I was a disappointment and never measured up, when in fact she saw me as her rival.
I forgave her; it was me giving up my right to want to hate and hurt her for being cut by her words over and over again. Forgiveness was my final act of love. Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.