Being in a relationship can be hard sometimes and there comes a time where you will have to say you are sorry. Nobody is perfect, so it’s ok to admit that you are wrong sometimes. We try not to hurt the one that we love, but it happens all the time. Here are ways to say sorry, and mean it!
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Understand That You Are At Fault
This is your starting point of an apology. You must always understand that you are the cause of the problem, even if you may both be at fault, you should always apologize for your own actions. This can be a big problem for most people, but you must admit to yourself that you are in the wrong. Think about what went wrong and why you upset your partner. If your partner is really upset and sad then it’s best to face the problem and apologize, straight up.
Don’t Get Defensive
If you are going to apologize and mean it, you can’t get defensive. The whole point of the apology to set things right, not start another argument. This can be hard because sometimes you want to put your own two-sense forward, but try to refrain from doing so. The last thing that you want is to make your relationship even worse at this point. An apology is not an apology if you refuse to sincerely mean it.
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Apologize, And Avoid “Buts”
Not just “buts”, but excuses! We’ve all been there, trying to steer the issue in other directions to distract from the actual problem itself. We all want to be right, but we are not always the good guy. You hurt your partner, and they deserve an apology. Even if your partner may have said some things against you to fuel the fight, you still shouldn’t make ANY excuses in your apology. Hurt is hurt. If you want to make things right, you have to risk victory and take the fall instead.
Think Of How You Can Prevent It From Happening Again
At this point, you both should have calmed down quite a bit. You now both realize what went wrong, and how much you hurt your partner or each other. Now, together think about what can be done differently in the future. Instead of causing your partner that same pain again, make suggestions. It is also a good idea to discuss other problems you two are experiencing or may have experienced in the past that haven’t been acknowledged. Together you can both make promises to each other, which will result in positive changes.
Make It Up To Them
Make amends. When you’re hurt don’t you want someone to return all that happiness you missed out on? So now that YOU have hurt your partner I’m sure you think that they deserve some special treatment. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to shower them in gifts, but sometimes something small like attention, and freedom is all that is needed. Maybe your partner needs more time alone or with friends. Let them have that space. Make sure to not ignore them, but give just the right amount of attention so that they know you still love them. There are many ways that you can make it up to your partner, and that’s all personal preference!
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Not sure how to start your actual apology? Simple. Start by saying the words “I’m sorry”. It’s always the right way to start an apology. Just explain yourself, and follow the rules I listed above so you don’t start any more fights! If you both truly love each other then you will do anything to make the relationship work. An apology can go a long way. Often times all we want is for the person who hurt us to understand how badly hurt we are. When you apologize it’s not about who’s right or wrong, it’s about love, trust, respect, and understanding.
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