Feel Good Tip #9

By Nicole McCance @nicole_mccance · On May 17, 2012

End of Day Reflection

It is important to evaluate your life and your happiness frequently. We can become so busy that we often forget to check in with ourselves. It is when our lives are taken over by work, family, and stress that our physical and mental health often moves to the bottom of the priority list.

So check in with yourself tonight, and in a few nights from now. Focus on what went right, and where things went wrong. Real change can only be made if you take the time to notice your patterns, your triggers and your negative thoughts. What, or who, caused your day to turn badly? Why did this happen? We all have triggers, and when you think back over the last few days, something most likely caused you to feel angry, upset, hurt, or anxious. When we experience these negative emotions, we have to pause, and take a moment to reflect on where they are coming from. It is usually about a much larger issue, and not just about your partner doing something to upset you, or a coworker being late for a meeting.

When we spend our lives on autopilot, we keep making the same mistakes, and getting in the same arguments. Notice the negative thoughts and emotions you had today, and in the last few days. Ask yourself, what did those feelings remind you of? Was there another time in your life when you felt like that?

When you notice that the negativity stems from a pattern, and not a particular event, it is easier to let your trigger go in the moment. For example, if someone cuts in front of you in a line, and you become angry and upset, but you notice… wait a second, this is how I felt when I was bullied in school… helpless, frustrated, and angry… In that moment, you realize that you are so upset, because you feel bullied. That other person, while in the wrong, is not the same person your anger was directed at in the past. Instead of unleashing those built up feelings, try forgiving, and letting go. You are not the same person you used to be. You can choose to be happy and positive, right now, in this moment.

So, take time at the end of each day to reflect, let go, and move forward.

Nicole McCance

Nominated, RBC Women Entrepreneur of the Year, Nicole McCance M.A. is a fully licensed Psychological Associate. Her services are covered under extended health care and she is licensed to diagnose mental disorders. Nicole is also an author of the best-selling book 52 Ways to Beat Depression Naturally. She has over 9 years of formal university education and has completed a certificate program in trauma and recovery from Harvard Medical School. She has a M.A in Counselling Psychology from the University of Toronto, a B.A. in Criminology and a B.A with Honours in Psychology from Carleton University. Nicole owns Nicole McCance Psychology, which has over 10 counselling locations providing both individual and couples counselling across the GTA. Over 120 individuals and couples receive counselling every month through Nicole McCance Psychology. She has been providing counselling and assessment services for the past 10 years across North America and in Russia. She has been a frequent contributor to media outlets such as CP24, CTV News, CTV National, Global TV,City TV, CBC News, Rogers, CBC Radio, ABC Spark, E!, the Toronto Star and Canadian Living. You can visit her website at nicolemccance.com.

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