So, you’ve gotten the first date out of the way and you like each other enough for a second date. You’d love to get to know more about your date and move the relationship forward. What are some ways to accomplish this?
1. Ask Questions:
People want to know that you’re interested in them and that you find them exciting and valuable. I have found that if you look for what lights a person up, most everyone will be more open and will enjoy the conversation more. In the beginning, you can ask questions about their interests, hobbies and anything that they love. This is a portal into what makes them happy. You can also share this about yourself.
2. Do Shared Activities:
Many singles just grab drinks. Gone is the lost art of courtship. Sometimes people are more themselves when you get them moving in an activity. They temporarily stop all the negative self-talk and nervousness if they are distracted by walking in the park, bowling, playing miniature golf or riding the Ferris wheel. Think of places and things that you enjoy and ask if you’re date would be interested in joining. If they aren’t, don’t take it personally. Just try something else. The point is to begin to share your worlds.
3. Appreciate Each Other:
When you appreciate something it generally increases in value, since what you focus on expands. One of the great things about early courtship is discovering all the amazing things about someone new and the many gifts that they bring into your life. Part of dating is sharing yourself and another piece is showing how much you value the other person. This can begin by complimenting his choice of restaurant, how he makes you laugh or how cute he is. As you know him more you can comment on what he has taught you about poetry, spirituality or deeper things.
4. Surprise Each Other:
When you buy or create little things that you know that your date would like, it’s a fun way to show that you know them. It’s a way to make them happy. Some examples include buying them their favorite flowers, cooking their favorite meal or getting surprise tickets to their favorite band. In courtship we often surprise each other as a way to increase your closeness and shared experiences.
5. Reveal Your Authentic Self:
I know that many dating experts promote playing games and flirting techniques but I’m of the opinion that if you are yourself (and you like yourself) that the right people will like you back! And part of getting closer is revealing your true self over time. This means you are authentic about parts of yourself, including your preferences re food, politics, values, your life vision etcetera–even if it’s unconventional. In revealing yourself, you will see who can accept you as you are, and every time they do, you will move a little closer and the relationship will become more real.
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