One day you wake up and decide your love life needs a fresh start, or in my words, a relationship detox. For years, you’ve repeatedly dated the same type of guy. One prince charming after another came and left. These relationships were your best teachers and these men taught you some great lessons. It was because of them you learned how you wanted to be treated, how to set boundaries, and most importantly, how to choose better men going forward. Really, you should thank each one of them.
You promised yourself that the next guy would be different. You stopped caring for big muscles and fancy cars. Your dating coach told you to ditch your long list of must-haves and find somebody that you share similar goals and values with.
Apparently the same taste in music, movies, and hobbies didn’t matter.
It seemed pretty simple. And it was.
Shortly after your relationship detox, you met “the one”. He was nothing like the others and you seemed to share the same goals and values. He was a real gentleman- kind, caring, nurturing, reliable. The list of great qualities went on and you went to bed every night with a big smile on your face.
Finally. Your dating mishaps were over.
No more blind dates at Starbucks. No more creeps checking out your online profile.
And no more disappointed love. You had the perfect relationship. You had met a wonderful man who showed up for you, who appreciated you, and who adored you.
He was a keeper.
Your first year was magical. Your second was even better. By the third year, you started wondering where things were going.
What was he waiting for? He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. But why aren’t the two of you moving in together, shopping for rings, and planning your future?
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, many women are anticipating their man popping the big question. And thanks to Ken and Barbie, women have likely been creating this romantic moment in their mind since they were 7 years old.
Only 10% of marriage proposals take place on Valentine’s Day, it’s also a popular time of year for breakups.
Conversely, many men are dreading February 14th and fear their gift isn’t going to cut it. Let’s face it, anything other than a diamond ring is probably going to disappoint a woman who’s expecting one.
Although February is a popular month to get engaged, with about 10% of marriage proposals taking place on Valentine’s Day, it’s also a popular time of year for breakups. “Valentine’s Day Stress” is a recognized phenomenon with increased cases of anxiety, insomnia, and depression around this holiday. Women who patiently wait for the ring year after year, holiday after holiday, describe “waiting” as emotionally and physically draining.
Ladies, listen up. Just because marriage is a priority for you, it doesn’t mean it is for him. So, if there’s one piece of advice I have for you this month, it’s this. Shower yourself with TONS of love. Go to candlelight yoga. Hang out with your girlfriends.
Make green smoothies.
Buy yourself red roses and dark chocolate.
Book a spa day.
Write in your journal.
Plan a weekend getaway.
Whatever makes you happy, this is the month to do it, and lots of it! It’s time to stop waiting.
It’s time to stop crying yourself to sleep, time to stop giving him ultimatums, and time to stop asking for a ring. You never imagined demanding a ring. Like most women, you want to be pursued, not be the pursuer. You’ve quietly waited long enough for a proposal and now the choice is yours. You get to decide what the next year will look like. If this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, are you prepared to breathlessly wait longer? This means waiting until he’s ready, because nobody should ever feel forced into an engagement.
If you’re not willing to wait longer, perhaps until next Valentine’s Day, are you ready to end your relationship? Are you ready to get back into the dating scene? Are you ready to search for “the one” all over again?
Triple, Venti, half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato coming right up.