It’s oft been said, “What goes around, comes around.” Sadly, with regards to straight dating, that’s not always true. Lately, the issue of Orgasm Inequality has been trending. What’s that, you say? It refers to the fact that when it comes to sex, women are far less likely to have a happy ending. Statistics reveal that only 24% of straight women in Canada climax at each sexual encounter, while their male counterparts enjoy the big finish 61% of the time. That’s right, ladies. In addition to The Wage Gap, there’s an Orgasm Gap. We get paid less, and getting laid does less for us. This skewed truth about getting screwed begs the question, do men owe their female partners orgasms?
The research on Orgasm Inequality actually gives cause for optimism. A UK study funded by Durex suggests the vast majority of men want their female partners to enjoy themselves during nookie. But alas, anyone who’s ever abandoned a juice cleanse halfway through knows there is a big difference between wanting something, and achieving it.
Admittedly, The Orgasm Gap is somewhat understandable. The male member is like a big round bull’s eye a sniper could easily hit in routine target practice. But the clitoris can feel like shooting a needle into a haystack, on a cliff, a kilometre and a half into the distance. That fleshy little molehill is hard to spot. And as if the size of the clitoris weren’t enough, it also gets slippery when wet. So, grip can be an issue too. Making magic happen for a vagina-owner can feel like searching for the lost city of Atlantis.
At the same time, it’s hardly fair for a person to be deprived of pleasure because her instrument is harder to play. After all, common wisdom says the violin is more difficult to master than the flute, yet there are master violinists out there (Itzhak Perlman, call me!). A violinist just needs the combination of practice, and a confident conductor to tell them what to do. In case you aren’t down with extended metaphors, allow me to speak bluntly: It’s a straight dude’s obligation to listen to a female partner’s instructions for how to please her, but it’s also incumbent upon straight ladies to let the lads know what they want.
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While sexual satisfaction can never be guaranteed, it’s a straight guy’s obligation to at least try. The “wam bam, thank you, ma’am” approach is about as attractive as socks with sandals. It should be considered standard to ask a partner what she finds pleasurable, but in return, that partner shouldn’t be shy about articulating her needs. Communication is a two-way street.
So, straight folks, next time you and your person are having a sexy fun time, make sure everyone gets the opportunity to shine. Remember, a sex-capade is more likely to result in a sequel when everybody has a happy ending.