In response to my earlier post, How to Initiate Sex: 10 Pointers For Women, I’ve received several requests from men asking for tips on initiating sex with their female partners. Ask and you shall receive!
Here are a few tips for initiation sex with your lover:
1. Take your compliments to the next level. One-dimensional compliments (e.g. You look nice today) might help you charm your way to a better table at your local hotspot, but when it comes to sex, you’re going to want to step up your game. Weave compliments of pleasantry (e.g. You are so sweet) throughout your daily interactions and throw in a few flirtatious compliments (e.g. Wow. You must have been turning heads all day in that dress!) to show appreciation for sex appeal. Finally, seal the deal with some animalistic compliments (e.g. I can’t resist the perfect curve of your hips. You drive me wild!) that let her know that you want her — not just sex.
2. Kiss her with confidence! Place your hands on the back of her head and run your fingers firmly through her hair. Look her in the eye and smile. Then close your eyes, press your lips into hers and run your tongue between the groove of her lips before tilting your head to the side and enjoying a prolonged make-out session. Don’t reach beneath her shirt or down between her legs (yet); simply indulge in the pleasures of kissing while breathing deeply and relishing in the warmth and wetness of your lip-lock.
Some fun kissing techniques include sucking gently on the tip of her tongue, twirling your tongue around hers, sliding your tongue from side to side as slowly and sensually as possible and gently curling your tongue up to stroke the roof of her mouth. But don’t get hung up on technique — just do what feels good for you allowing your passion and desire to guide you.
3. Plan ahead. While spontaneous sex might arise naturally in the early stages of courtship, planning ahead often pays off with greater returns in long-term relationships. In fact, research suggests that foreplay (seduction) should begin 24 hours in advance of sex, so that the amygdala (the part of the brain associated with emotion) is prepared to set fears and worries aside in favour of pleasure, arousal and orgasm.
The involvement of the amygdala in sexual arousal helps to explain why many of us cannot transition seamlessly from mundane chores to erotic engagement — both our bodies and our brains need to be primed for sexual activity in advance. So if you want to seduce her in the evening, start earlier in the day (or even the day before) with affection (e.g. a long hug), expressions of admiration (e.g. I love you so much) and sexual flirtation (e.g. a gentle brush against her thigh or a warm kiss on her neck). And don’t forget to set the scene! You’ll be surprised how far a few candles or a romantic soundtrack can go!
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