When I look at women’s lists of their ideal partner, I often see a reference to height. For the most part, it’s pretty specific, like “must be over X height”. We get talking about this requirement and what often is revealed is that they want to feel protected and safe. They assume if they are with a guy who is a certain height, they will feel protected and safe. I’m here to challenge this logic because I am aware of so many relationships where physical attributes outweighed character attributes and ended up in misery. I have seen women stick firmly to their “must be a certain height” rule for years and years and then they end up dating a guy who is their height or a couple inches taller and they realize it doesn’t matter nearly as much as they thought it would!
So here is what I suggest as an edit to your list, take your “must be X height” and change it to “needs to be physically attractive to me”. Don’t be super specific because you will just know who you are attracted to. A woman who is 6 feet tall is going to have a different feeling/preference than a woman who is 5’2″. By changing this simple requirement, you are now saying that you are open to what may be a different type of guy that you haven’t necessarily considered before. There’s a fantastic book I recommend on this topic, “He’s Just Not Your Type (and that’s a good thing)” by Andrea Syrtash.
I did an experiment with a client once where we went into her online dating account and changed her search parameters for height by ONE inch and it opened up over 400 new results!
Seriously, that’s how it can change things.
Like I said before, a strict requirement on height is traceable to a need to feel physically safe and protected. I just think if you believe that ONLY men “over a certain height” are capable of that, it’s a potential fault in logic or at the very least something to think about.
Remember, as a Date Coach, I’m here to cause you to think about the reasons behind some of your requirements and make sure you are not getting in your own way.
Let me know how I can help you get all you desire in your love life. Contact me for a free 20 minute phone-coaching session – [email protected]
Live Love,
Christine
No Comments