When you are in a relationship and it starts going badly, it’s easy to call it quits. It may start with arguing, annoying habits, or just different preferences. You may have grown up thinking that arguing with your partner means that you are not a healthy couple, but ups and downs are perfectly normal, and to be expected. It’s not so much if you argue but how you argue. As long as you do not put each other down it’s perfectly normal to speak your mind and it can be healthy!
Sure, there are deal breakers that you don’t have to stand for if your values don’t align. But don’t jump to the age old conclusion: “You must not be the one.” (For more on this, check out my article “Letting Go of The One.”)
There is a rhythm in every relationship. In a lifetime, there will be alternating periods of passion, friendship, and emotional distance between you. There are ups and downs. You should expect that your relationship will move in cycles. When you are in a down cycle, there is an up coming.
I have seen so many couples in my practice, who have been on the brink of divorce, but a year later, they have reconnected. It can sometimes be circumstances outside of your relationship that make you think that you are unhappy with your partner. Dissatisfaction at work, or in your family can cause seemingly irreparable damage to your relationship, but you can ride it out!
When your relationship is down, it doesn’t mean you have to leave. Seek counseling, have faith, and hold on to the person you love.