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Dating 0

One, Two, Three Steps To Your Optimal Dating Journey

By Dr. Paulette Sherman @kpaulet · On September 30, 2014

Think about yourself as a car. You maintain a car’s integrity to maximize its efficiency. You can do the same for your love life and your dating journey. Here are three steps to take:

#1- Eliminate Your Energy Drains – In a car you make major repairs so that the car runs smoothly.  You may be dating up a storm but if you don’t identify your energy drains you won’t get very far. Think  about where you’re leaking energy while dating.

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Here are some examples:

Your Early Models of Love – You have a negative model of marriage and relationships and you tell yourself that your marriage will be painful like your parents relationship so that you do not give your  dates a chance.

Your Attitude – You’ve decided that the opposite sex are horrible creatures whom you will tolerate. This  feeling is communicated non-verbally on your dates. No wonder they don’t go well!

Self-Worth – You feel that no one’s interested in you and you’ve got the list to prove it.

Now imagine having a great date with all of these toxic beliefs and emotions surrounding you. If you don’t address them, will you really let the person across from you in? You can take time to think about all the things  you have to offer instead. This will give you the positive energy you need to move forward in love.

#2 Add Positive Energy to Your Dating Life– After you have fixed the aforementioned major hole repairs in your dating vehicle, you’ll need to fill your car with gas and fluids for maximum performance.  Here are some examples:

Confidence – Make a list of all the ways that you are a great catch. Practice believing it until you know  that your partner would be really lucky to have you.

Fun & Passion – Fill your life with activities you love. Don’t wait for a mate to come so that you can be  happy. Create a life that anyone would be excited to share with you!

Intention – Create a positive vision for your relationship & imagine how it will benefit you and your mate. This positive vision will be the emotion and context that will attract a great partner who will fit your  vision.

LoveMapBlogPost7#3- Create a Roadmap & Get Going– Now you’re ready to approach your destination. But remember to  enjoy the ride!

Clarify What You Want – Clearly describe what you want in a partner so you’ll recognize him or her when you get there.

Determine Your Resources – When you go on a road trip you might have a GPS or a map to guide you.  Think about what might help with dating, like joining a dating service, getting single friends to go out with you or getting a singles event listing. This might put you on the dating map in new ways so that the right prospects can find you, or you them.

Get a Dating Coach – Just as some people like to contract a tour guide or a co-pilot when going on a long trip, a dating coach can help you zero in on what you want and how to attract it with                                                                                expertise, commitment and precision.

If you consider your dating journey in this manner, you’ll be prepared for your actual date long before you even leave the house and you’ll be ready when you finally do meet your match! Have a Happy Dating Journey! The best is yet to come.

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Dr. Paulette Sherman

Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a psychologist, dating coach and the author of “Dating from the Inside Out” published by Atria Books and “The Book of Sacred Baths: 52 Bathing Rituals to Revitalize Your Spirit,” published by Llewellyn. She has a private practice in Manhattan and Brooklyn and she does dating coaching internationally by phone. Check out her many books on Amazon and learn more about her dating coaching at Dr.PauletteSherman.com and MyDatingandRelationshipSchool.com.

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