In an ideal world when the time arrives for you to be introduced to the children of your potential soul mate, you feel assured that the outcome will be blessed. How could it not be? Your partner is a fantastic person, friend, and lover. They must also be the best parent out there. Those kids will love you and you will all live happily ever after.
You are not naïve. It may take a bit of time for the kids to truly appreciate the depths of your awesomeness, and you are fully ready to take on this challenge. But life does not always go as planned. What happens when you meet the kids and you dislike them?
In the scope of things that are horrible to imagine, disliking your partner’s offspring ranks pretty high up there. The initial meeting went well or so you thought. Everyone brought their “A games” to the meeting. Questions were answered politely, and the checking of cell phones was kept to a minimum. A win, win in your books. Subsequent interactions while cordial proved less affable.
By the fourth get together, the heat of the summer had no effect on the impenetrable frost between you and them.
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But you believe in love and you are connected to your partner on a level so profound. With each passing moment, you know that this is the relationship you have secretly dreamed about. Unfortunately, you do not feel the same level of reverence for the kids. You find them whiny, spoiled and entitled. You can accept that this is an adjustment for everyone, but even with the range in ages, you expect a bare amount of regard. If they show you indifference, they should at least respect your partner. The tension that both you and the kids feel towards each other is slowly seeping its way into your relationship. Your lover feels trapped in the middle. They want to see all the people that they love, embrace this situation. Sadly sometimes it does not work out the way we planned.
The truth of the matter is that not everyone will like each other. Personalities do not always mesh. And that is ok. You would like to become friends with the kids, but really, that is just a nice to have situation. Do not make it a deal breaker regarding your relationship. Rather than hope for a Brady Bunch scenario, which seems unlikely to happen, focus on being polite. You are the adult and you need to show it. Civility and respect are powerful instruments, which have the inept ability to temper hostility. This is the first step to change a bleak outlook into one that allows all loved ones to come together.