It’s not unusual to meet people who’ve grown weary of online dating. And I’ll admit that online dating has its pros and cons. However, one big benefit is that it forces you to own your worth no matter what’s happening, and no matter with whom you get matched. However, you’ll get more out of your life on Tinder or Bumble if you abide by this governing principle: Keep it light!
Firstly, you need to keep it light by avoiding the trap of falling in love with someone’s profile pictures. It’s cool to be intrigued, but don’t fantasize about living happily ever after with this person you don’t really know yet. Admittedly, it’s so easy to be attracted to the external package without knowing whether this person will actually be a good match, someone who will look out for you, someone who is kind and loving.
Online dating is not much different than going to a party and seeing a whole bunch of possibilities in a room.
Often when online dating people get hurt through online dating, it’s because the person they thought they were connecting with backs out of a date. But in reality, that person has their own hangups, fears, and anxieties that are holding them back and preventing them from being their best, most polite self online. The bottom line is that no one cancels at the last minute because something is wrong with you.
The key with success in online dating -as in life – is managing expectations while staying optimistic. You really need to accept that it’s a numbers’ game. Out of the people you connect with, many won’t work out but that with clarity and commitment you will meet your mate, your match. On the other hand, if you believe that ‘there is no one out there for you,’ then there will be no one.
Depending on where the person you are connecting with is at with online dating, the earlier in the game, the less jaded they are and the more they will be willing to engage. However, the longer they’ve been embedded in the world of apps, the more their past disappointments could make them jaded. That means they could be less
So, if you factor in how many of these possible matches have already been connecting with someone else they are starting to like, or are heart broken and will either be super needy or will be really standoffish and how long they have been online dating… there is a wide permutation of possibilities. That could make someone less open to you. You may have to wear down their defenses. But try not to fret! Whether it’s benching, ghosting, or fading away, remember that nothing that’s happening online is personal: THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU! IT CANNOT BE ABOUT YOU!
The more you believe you’re a great catch, the more natural you’ll be, and the more fun you’ll have.
If you believe love is safe and something desirable then you will say and do what’s appropriate, and eventually that will pay off! The more you’re scared of love, the more you’ll look skittish and push potential great matches away.
So it all comes down to you: What do you believe and want?
Whatever you want and believe is going to happen. Just keep it light, and you’ll have fun until you meet the one!
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