Who Are you Surrounding Yourself With?
Think about the 5 people you associate with the most. Research shows that the traits these friends have will influence the way you think and act. You will become like those friends within 5 years. You will gravitate toward their attributes. So think about it…
Are your friends happy? Successful? Positive? Healthy? Generous? Do these friends bring out the best in you?
Or are your friends Complainers? In debt? Unhealthy? Dealing with substance abuse problems? Negative? Rude? When you spend time with your friends, do you feel negative and drained?
You will notice that over time, your problems are similar to their problems. We unconsciously adopt their thought processes and beliefs, and therefore, their behaviour.
You do have a choice! Let go of the friends who are no longer uplifting you. Spend time with people who inspire you to be better!
Start joining in on social events with others. Ask a co-worker who you respect out for coffee, or participate in an activity that you have always wanted to try. Introduce yourself to new people who seem to have it all. Position yourself near greatness, and it will rub off on you!
If loyalty or other issues tie you to your old friends, and you don’t want to cut them out completely, start adding in more positive friends to your group. By shifting your social circle to a more positive one, you will feel better, and do better in life. Surround yourself with people you aspire to be like, and you will notice a change!
12 Comments
I have six friend but i don’t happy with because they like alcohol .We have a kitchen party each and every month we meet after that are drinkng alcohol.I only like one thing about them we share the ideas of how keep our marriage strong
I can only apply this to people I dislike because the people I use to think who were good company and considered friends all left when I wasn’t doing so well while the others left for work. They are not influential because I don’t plan to see them anytime soon.
friends are disloyal
Unfortunately, I haven’t found anyone that I aspire to be like..
I was actually thinking about this subject. Many of my friends are negative. I chose them because I was negative too. Now, I am becoming a more positive person and was thinking about not associating with my old friends, but that seemed harsh. They all have been loyal to me. So I will search out new friends that I would like to have as role models. The problem is I don’t have the self confidence to seek them out. I believe they will judge me and think I am not good enough to be their friend.
@Catherine:
A reality check. Maybe you haven’t completely evolved from being a “negative” kind of person. If you’ve come to the conclusion that you’re afraid that people will “judge” you, then that’s one sign of you being negative. Just sayin’.
i totaly agree with these researsh .. i was an optimist person .. who think positivly and have a great life .. but sudenly i met a friend and day to day we become closer and he become my best friend .. the one who i trust .. the one who i have fun with .. the one who i forgive whatever he did .. the one who i ignore all his flaw .. one day when he leaves me .. i just know in that time that i was stupid to create a virtual friend in my mind .. he leaves for me only pain, heartbreak .. and pessimistic though .. because he was pessimist and after a period of time i just start to think like him and act like him .. and now i learn a lesson .. that i must know how to choose my friend and having attention to never create a virtual one in my mind to never get hurt again..
I do agree that over time people’s actions tend to conform to met the expectations of those closest to them – but ditching your friends to “become a better person” is step one on the short road to being a total asshole. If you read this article and actually decide to ditch years of friendship over unspecified and un-cited “research” you’re either a total sheep for not being able to form a personality of your own (apparently unlike your friends and possibly friends – aka everyone else), or an idiot for buying into this; in either case now that I pause to think of it your friends are likely better off without you.
What an insidious piece of rubbish. Instead of distancing yourself from people who have loyally stood by you, you should try to inspire them. Fake friends who drop you at the first sign of trouble are the ones not really worth keeping.
I believe this is true, I used to be unhealthy because i surrounded myself with people who drank alcohol and braai a lot, go to parties, etc until one of my friends from other circle told in my face how i have gained so much weight and tummy. i joined a new circle of friends who take life seriosly, i run marathons including most popular in SA (Two Oceans and Comrades marathons). i’m happy healtier, financially aware.
i share the sentiments. thanks for this topic
When I was going through a really bad patch in my life, I had a couple of really great friends who stood by me through thick or thin, despite the negative things happening to me. I also had others who chose to distance themselves from me, and even tell me it was because they could not deal with the bad (external) things happening to me. I know whose friendship I value the most – the ones who actually showed what it is to be a true friend. Articles like this might be worth consideration if you are talking about friends whose behaviours lead you to behave worse yourself. But just because some bad stuff has happened to a friend, and they are feeling depressed, and perhaps are down and out for a time in their lives, that is certainly no reason to dumpt them from your life.
Lindsey Lohan looked great in Mean Girls. What happened?