Sincerity In Dating And Relationships

The word sincere has its roots in the two Latin words sine (without) and cere (wax).

One explanation for its origin comes from the days of the Roman Republic. It’s said that unscrupulous bricklayers would sometimes cut corners and instead of using expensive cement, they would use wax to hold the bricks of a building in place. Of course when the cement was replaced with wax the integrity of the structure would be compromised.

This foolish practice naturally had ominous consequences when the temperature increased and the bricks would shift causing the structure to collapse.

Another explanation for the word points to dishonest craftsmen who would cover the imperfections in their pottery or marble with wax thereby misleading the purchaser.

It’s an interesting analogy to consider sincerity to be “without wax” and then to apply it to dating and relationships.

Early in dating we tend to camouflage our imperfections in an effort to give our best presentation of ourselves and put our best foot forward.

We use our best table manners, act like a perfect gentleman or ladies and do everything we believe will place us in the best possible light.

In relationships our challenge is to unfold our vulnerabilities and imperfections in pace with the level of commitment we give.

However, when we commit but continue to use wax as we weakly attempt to build the relationship structure, we do so assuming there will be no consequences.

And of course there are.

In time the temperature of our love increases and the cracks filled with the insincerity of wax where the integrity of cement should have been, expose us as fraudulant.

The relationship now begins to falter.

We can go back and try to replace the wax with cement but the damage of being misled has for the most part been done. We can try to rebuild, but that amounts to a demolition of the old relationship and a recreation of a new one; a task that most of us are unwilling or unable to do.

It’s too late.

The lesson of course is to be true to your relationship as you should be to your self. When you try to build a relationship with wax, that is, without integrity and sincerity, you risk losing all that it could have been.