Do you ever find yourself being asked out by a person that you weren’t sure of and thought “not now or ever!” They just aren’t your “type”, you know exactly what you want and you aren’t going to settle until you get it. Over the years most of us have developed a type, usually a person with a combination of physical and personality traits that we find ourselves drawn to. Once we become attracted, we start to date this same type of person over and over again, and yet we remain single. But what if you started widening that circle and began dating your non-type?
It’s a Numbers Game
By having a type you are limiting yourself. The more open you are to dating, the more options you will have to find the perfect relationship for you. I work with many clients that have been stuck being single for years because they rule people out based on pretty superficial reasons. Having standards is a must, it’s important to know what you want but being too strict could actually be holding you back from finding love. Figure out your core values, know your non-negotiables and be open to the rest. Open yourself up to a whole new world of dating, the more people you meet, the greater your chances of finding love are.
Your Type Has Actually Changed
Have you ever considered that maybe you really don’t know what your type is? As we go through life, sometimes we make up our minds that this is who we are looking for, but forget that we have changed over the years. You are different, so why would you think you still want that same person you were attracted to years ago?
Is It Working For You?
If you are still single and continuing to date the same type of person, where has it taken you so far? Are your needs being met? If it was working, you’d be in a great relationship by now. If anything, dating outside your type will help you grow, discover new qualities and further determine what you are looking for in a partner. Make the most out every date, each experience we have can teach us something, and push us closer to our destination. Getting out of that dating comfort zone is the perfect opportunity to learn and grow.
Get A Dating Boost
We all need a pick me up sometimes, by continuously going out with the same type of person we can get dating burnout. The only way to break the rut is by dating someone out of the parameters you’ve set for yourself. Going out with someone with a fresh new perspective can really give you that boost you’ve been needing.
It Could Turn Into Something
Sometimes the most wonderful things come in the most unexpected packages. Create a challenge for yourself over the next few months to go on dates with people that don’t always fit your type. The more you practice dating, the more interesting your dating life will be come. You may find the perfect match or not, but one thing you will have done is evolve your taste in who you date and what you thought you were looking for.
Have you ever dated your “non-type”? How did it work out for you? Let me know in the comments section below.
Deanna, this is great advice! For most of my dating life I went for artsy guys (musicians, actors, writers, etc.) It wasn’t until I went out with a jock that I found a lasting relationship. We have been happily married for 10 years. If you had told me I was going to end up with a sports nut I would have thought you were crazy…but it is totally working for us. Our core values are the same even though many of our passions/pursuits are different.
I love your story Dee, thanks for sharing!