Do you have certain hopes and dreams that are on hold because you are waiting for the “other person” to get on board, or make a move? Have you been patiently waiting for the “right time” when it will be your turn to get what you want? How will you know when you have waited too long? Whether you apply this to a romantic interest, a friend, or an employer, here are 10 signs you are being strung along in your relationship.
1. The person you are with is happy where things are and wants to maintain the status quo. They say things like “why ruin a good thing?”
2. The conversation about your desired topic is being put off or avoided.
3. They put up road blocks to simple requests or comments that introduce a layer of complexity that slow things down.
4. There is desire without a plan – you are still in the stage of wishful thinking. There are no real plans for the future or a vision for it being created.
5. Just as you get disappointed and lose hope, they reel you back in and create a false sense of
progress that makes you think that things are finally happening. Only to fall back into a lull once they feel you have been temporarily satisfied.
6. They send selective replies to texts or emails.
7. They discuss the possibilities without the willingness to formally commit.
8. They let you take the lead and do the work to figure out “how things will work”, sending you deeper into your own fantasy.
9. They make excuses: “it’s not the right time”. “We don’t have enough money” etc.
10. When they do have the time and money, you aren’t their first priority.
…And the bottom line sign: You feel it in your gut. You won’t admit it but you know something is off. It feels like a glass wall of resistance always seems to slow things down.
Now you know you are being strung along….
But how how long should you put up with it?
When your dreams turn into regrets. The time passes and your window starts to close on the
possibility. You compromise so much you lose sight of your dreams. You lose connection with yourself and your light begins to diminish. When friends ask you about your dream, you hear yourself give the same excuses that your partner does – you have bought into their conversation and have stopped investing in your own dream.
Then resentment piles up and you blame your partner for your loss – meanwhile you are the one holding yourself back.
Maybe it’s time to come clean and admit to yourself that this person just doesn’t want what you want. Ask yourself if they have been honest with you, but you are hanging on by only listening for what you want to hear? Is your optimism that they will “come around” actually a delusion?
Ask yourself “why am I with someone who won’t accompany me on the journey?” Why am I choosing to be held back, and in essence holding myself back? What am I afraid of, and who would I be if I had what I wanted?
How to get unstrung and fulfill your dreams:
1. Take back your power and realize that you have the ability to choose something different.
2. Stop prioritizing others excuses ahead of your dreams. Recognize when you are letting someone else dictate the timing of your life.
3. Commit to yourself with a timeline. Create a vision for what you want, and start taking baby steps towards it.
4. Get coaching or join a group with the same ideals, dreams or values who will support the journey.
5. Recognize your own excuses. Is it clear that underneath it all your fear is what’s truly in the way? Your results reveal what’s undermined in your life. There are 7 subconscious beliefs that sabotage your life – are you falling victim to one of them?
What would it take to be free and fulfilled in your life and are you willing to be courageous and make the change?
The good news is that you have been holding the keys to your life all along. Life is short and if you have an inner dream that has been inspiring you to take action – run towards it. Answer the call before it turns to an inner nagging and then regret. You deserve to be happy!
2 Comments
I came across your article based on a Google search and I was spot on with a situation with a guy that I noticed was trying to string me along.
I noticed the signs of him wanting access to contact me, making relationship plans, but noticed no follow through and that he was playing games.
1. His take was that he was numb from being disappointed whenever he supposedly put his all into someone.
2. He’d say to me often when I show concern for his well being that he wasn’t used to that.
3. He’d tell me he had visions of he and I married in the future, etc.
The reality of it was based on my take:
1. He picked females for the wrong reasons and probably even fueled their insecurity based on his behavior ‘his no commitment-commitment”.
2. He either did things to contribute to females that he dealt with not caring about his well being or he enjoyed dealing with those like him that like games and playing the pseudo-relationship game.
I didn’t make a time line. I gave him two subconscious chances (he didn’t know he had two chances) to see if he’d get it together or not.
Based on the last chance, he felt we’d be fine, ‘he was happy with what we have” according to him, but there was no definitive of what it even was and according to him he was slow to give the girlfriend title now. Ironically though he expected relationship access and communication.
I explained to him that if he was scared of commiting, he shouldn’t pretend and to stop picking the thots he was picking and putting them on a pedestal.
I went on to state that there are men that want to commit to me right away and now years down the line. He thought those men just want sex when they commit right away, but I cut him short that in my instances they ended in either marriage or an engagement.
He’s realized now after the fact that he’s replaceable and sees other men that are and have been interested in me while he couldn’t make up his mind because he was entertaining his thot rotation. I was very clear with him that I just want things to be platonic, nothing more. That the type of situation he was unclear about was confusing, drama filled and didn’t make sense. He was upset, but he’s 42 he’ll figure it out.
I’ve been in a for 7 years and suffer from depression anyway things got on top and the relationship went south she by the way has her own bungalow and I stupidly moved in and agreed to pay half of everything now as I said relationship went cold she hit me when I was at a low point saying it’s over so stupidly I really tried to end my life by taking a huge paracetamol overdose luckily I’m ok she’s agreed I can stay for the next 4 weeks paying half the bills !! But here’s the thing she knows I’m unstable and upset I’ve got counsel service and for the last 3 weeks have been great we have been getting on great … But !!! She is stringing me along because all the time I’m cutting the grass house cleaned ect I’m saying things like this is how it’s going to be she just a saying we’ll see , now to a unstable and vulnerable person that’s hope then bang on 4 weeks she says I never told you we would see !!! Classic case my friends personally I have become a better person by facing my demons but had left me very wary of the opposite sex !!!