A Better YOU, Your Life Coach 1

Letting Go Of “The One”

By @nicole_mccance · On September 5, 2012

For all you single men/women out there…

I overheard two women speaking while I was out the other night. One was complaining to the other about the way her boyfriend treated her. She queried the other: “Would the one treat me this way?”

The concept of the one is a major fantasy based on fiction and cinema. If you are always asking yourself if your partner is “the one”, you will keep moving on to the next. The men or women you are dating are only human, and they will make mistakes. Waiting for perfection will only extend your single life.

So stop looking for the one, and start thinking about compatibility. What do you want from your life? If you are a woman in your mid 30’s and you want to be married soon, get rid of those negative thoughts that all the good ones are taken. Realize that there are millions of men in your geographical area, and many are in your age group, and there are most likely thousands of men who are compatible with you.

After a date, the only question you should be asking yourself is, “Did I have fun?” If so, go out with that person again. If you place too much pressure on everything your date said or did, by asking yourself if he or she is the one, you will easily write them off and move on.

For more on this topic, I suggest you read the book Marry Him, by Lori Gottlieb.

 

Nominated, RBC Women Entrepreneur of the Year, Nicole McCance M.A. is a fully licensed Psychological Associate. Her services are covered under extended health care and she is licensed to diagnose mental disorders. Nicole is also an author of the best-selling book 52 Ways to Beat Depression Naturally. She has over 9 years of formal university education and has completed a certificate program in trauma and recovery from Harvard Medical School. She has a M.A in Counselling Psychology from the University of Toronto, a B.A. in Criminology and a B.A with Honours in Psychology from Carleton University. Nicole owns Nicole McCance Psychology, which has over 10 counselling locations providing both individual and couples counselling across the GTA. Over 120 individuals and couples receive counselling every month through Nicole McCance Psychology. She has been providing counselling and assessment services for the past 10 years across North America and in Russia. She has been a frequent contributor to media outlets such as CP24, CTV News, CTV National, Global TV,City TV, CBC News, Rogers, CBC Radio, ABC Spark, E!, the Toronto Star and Canadian Living. You can visit her website at nicolemccance.com.

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1 Comment

  • Relationship Rhythm | Eligible Magazine says: January 10, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    […] Sure, there are deal breakers that you don’t have to stand for if your values don’t align. But don’t jump to the age old conclusion: “You must not be the one.” (For more on this, check out my article “Letting Go of The One.”) […]

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