For all you single men/women out there…
I overheard two women speaking while I was out the other night. One was complaining to the other about the way her boyfriend treated her. She queried the other: “Would the one treat me this way?”
The concept of the one is a major fantasy based on fiction and cinema. If you are always asking yourself if your partner is “the one”, you will keep moving on to the next. The men or women you are dating are only human, and they will make mistakes. Waiting for perfection will only extend your single life.
So stop looking for the one, and start thinking about compatibility. What do you want from your life? If you are a woman in your mid 30’s and you want to be married soon, get rid of those negative thoughts that all the good ones are taken. Realize that there are millions of men in your geographical area, and many are in your age group, and there are most likely thousands of men who are compatible with you.
After a date, the only question you should be asking yourself is, “Did I have fun?” If so, go out with that person again. If you place too much pressure on everything your date said or did, by asking yourself if he or she is the one, you will easily write them off and move on.
For more on this topic, I suggest you read the book Marry Him, by Lori Gottlieb.
[…] Sure, there are deal breakers that you don’t have to stand for if your values don’t align. But don’t jump to the age old conclusion: “You must not be the one.” (For more on this, check out my article “Letting Go of The One.”) […]