April is, “Couples Appreciation Month” so I decided to write an article on how taking a sacred couples bath can bring appreciation back into your relationship!
I have long been a relationship expert. I work with romantic relationships across the lifespan: from dating singles, to new relationships, couples living together and couples long married. When I do couples therapy I see how the relationship can shift from being fun, to being a lot of work; from appreciation to resentment; from synergy to blame-games. When we date we take time to get to know the other person and we regularly acknowledge how the other person adds value to our lives. Later, we often complain about what they are not doing. And working parents can be like two stressed-out ships passing in the night.
Research shows how important it is to continue a weekly date night, even after marriage. Couples complain that it’s difficult to plan a date, afford a babysitter and a weekly date night out.
Sacred Couple’s baths are the antidote to a great date night with no babysitter needed. What follows are 7 ways that taking a sacred couples bath will increase your appreciation for your partner, as well as many other positive relationship benefits.
- Focus on Mutual Appreciation– Your sacred bath is a quiet time to remember what you love about your partner and to share it. Since it is a ritual sacred space, you both know not to complain, argue or to entertain negativity for that period of time. You can make an effort to complement one another and focus upon what is great in your relationship.
- Attune to One Another– Early bonding occurs between mother and infant, without words. This is called an attunement process. Here mom can anticipate her baby’s needs and feelings by being physically close. Climbing into a sacred bath is very primal and it allows couples to attune to each other and to the water in this way, without talking. It becomes a time to align your thoughts, feelings and energies as a couple with your joint intention.
- Have a Higher Intention or Purpose- I often hear couples say that they married the other person because they made them happy. When they stop feeling happy, they assume that it’s time for a divorce. Emotions are changeable. In marriage sometimes you hate the other person temporarily or you feel happy, tired or sad. So, emotions may not be the bedrock upon which to build a life-long relationship (although they are important). Other contexts that I have heard for getting married are commitment, learning together, raising a family or becoming a team, and I’m sure that there are many more. When taking a sacred bath, you both come up with a higher purpose or context for your relationship for that sacred bath. This takes you out of the petty day-to-day stuff and it helps to stabilize your relationship by elevating the context you both operate from.
- Take a Break from Your Anger or Irritation- Couples often annoy one another and fight. In these moments, they often don’t stop to calm down before they speak. This is how hurtful words get spewed and people get defensive and shut down. Taking a sacred bath together is a good, ‘time out.’ Partners can step into the sacred waters to relax and fill with love before trying to talk. Discussions often go much better after that.
- Relax & Enjoy Yourselves Together– As I said, today couples are busier than ever. There are tons of distractions including longer work hours, electronic communications and more. It may seem as though there is little time to have fun as a couple without the kids. A sacred bath is an easy 25-minute solution from home for this. It isn’t work, it’s enjoyable and it elevates your mood and increases well-being.
- Embody Unconditional Love– A sacred bath is a great way to surround yourself with love while imagining anything negative go down the drain. By calling in your angels and higher selves you and your partner can raise your joint consciousness and expand your capacity for love and peace in that moment.
- Get Guidance on Your Relationship– By calling in your angels and higher selves you can ask to receive guidance on a specific aspect of your relationship. In the relaxed silence, you can see what messages come. After the sacred bath is over, you can record any inspirations and share them.
To learn more specifics about taking sacred couples baths together to improve your relationship, get my new book, The Book of Sacred Baths, published by Llewellyn Worldwide, available for pre-order here: http://amzn.to/1KbnMwb In it, I give specific meditations and intentions for couples, including a 5 step set-up process for couples with relevant essential oils, candles, and crystals. You can also learn more about sacred baths here at www.sacredbathing.com.
My Best in Love and Bathing,